


Gods, Games, and Monsters

by xxxRIPLEYxxx



Series: Gods, Games, and Monsters [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blackfrost - Freeform, Blood Kink, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Light BDSM, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki Posing as Odin, M/M, Mild Blood, Natasha Romanov Feels, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rope Bondage, Rough Oral Sex, Self-cest, Semi-Public Sex, Sub Loki (Marvel), True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 10:12:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19374604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxRIPLEYxxx/pseuds/xxxRIPLEYxxx
Summary: Loki and Black Widow have a secret. From the night they meet in The Avengers all the way through Infinity War, their minds and bodies are inextricably connected. This is one fucked-up love story.She struck upward with the heel of her left hand. She saw his head jerk back and heard his teeth clack together and knew that strike would have broken the jaw of any human. Instead, he grabbed both her hands and used his weight to topple her chair backwards. They landed in a crash of wood as the chair broke apart. He was on top of her, and she felt the hard bulge between his legs pressing into her. A trickle of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth, and he let a drop fall onto her lower lip.





	Gods, Games, and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at xxxripleyxxx.tumblr.com. I don't post a lot, but I'm always happy to talk about Loki. 
> 
> To everyone who takes a moment to leave kudos or comments, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Every single one is appreciated.

CHAPTER ONE: DUNGEON

In which Natasha needs information and is willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Dom Loki flexes a little and gets what he wants. This takes place shortly after Loki is confined to the dungeon on Asgard.

*****

The guards escorted her to the door of Loki’s cell. If they had any misgivings about leaving her alone with him, well, Odin had given the order and that’s all that mattered. Besides, they could see what was happening through the glass of the outlandishly large and ornate dungeon quarters Loki had been given. Natasha strode in and the door locked behind her.

Tony had asked her to find out as much as she could from Loki about the Chitauri, the army he had led in the attack on New York. He knew they’d be back, and he knew she had a connection to Loki that no one else had, as painful as it was for her. Tony figured they might work a deal, and Thor had convinced Odin to show leniency if Loki cooperated.

So, here she was. Face-to-face with the god who would have undone her mind if she’d been one small fraction weaker. It was only her lifetime of conditioning that had enabled her to beat him at his own game that day on the helicarrier. He had tried to terrorize her by bringing back every one of the many deaths she had caused in flashes of detailed acuity. He knew all the red in her ledger. In the end, she had used his arrogance against him and he had let slip that his plan was to cause Bruce to lose control so Hulk would destroy the ship and the other Avengers. She couldn’t help but feel just a tiny bit smug about that and smiled as she thought about it.

That did not go unnoticed by the prisoner.

“Hello, Ms. Romanoff. My situation amuses you, yes?”

“Oh, I was just remembering the last time I saw you. You were in a muzzle, a collar, and chains. It was a good look for you.”

He was dressed in a casual outfit of green and gold pants and jacket with black boots. The curtains were green with gold trim, as was the velvet cover on the massive four-poster bed. The man did like a color scheme, she thought. The jet-black hair with the unnaturally pale skin reminded her he was not human. She'd forgotten how tall he was, but she would never forget those eyes. From the moment they'd made eye contact through the glass on the ship, it felt as though he’d reached out and grabbed her by the throat.

The instant that thought crossed her mind, it felt like it was happening all over again. She jerked and stepped back as she saw his hand strike out like a snake and felt his fingers wrap around her neck. For a brief moment, she couldn't breathe. But, no, there was no hand at her throat. He was relaxed and smiling. He stood with feet shoulder-width apart, hands clasped behind his back. What had just happened?

“Something wrong, Ms Romanoff? You look startled.”

It was then she noticed the collar under his shirt. It was elaborately carved with Nordic runes and made of some impossibly shiny dark gold metal. Thor had assured her it prevented Loki from using his powers. No one but Thor himself could remove it. She swallowed a mild feeling of anxiety and shoved it to the back of her mind. She needed to get on with the reason she’d come all this way.

“I have a proposition for you. If you can give us information we need about the Chitauri, you might get out of this dungeon before your hair turns white.”

“I think I’d look quite dashing with white hair, don’t you?” As he spoke, his hair went snow-white.

“But, go on. You have my interest.”

His hair went back to its normal glossy black. He really did like to try to unnerve her, she thought. Then, it registered. First, the hand on the throat, then the hair color. He was letting her know he still had some of his power. Why would he do that?

He pulled a small wooden chair up close to his large, overstuffed chaise, and placed it facing him. He sat down, lounging back with one leg draped over the arm of his chair, a perfectly shined knee-high boot lazily swinging back and forth. Determined not to show him even the slightest discomfort, she sat in the wooden chair and spoke calmly and without expression.

“We'd like you to tell us everything you know about the Chitauri. No detail is unimportant. Choose your words carefully, Loki. I know you don’t particularly care about us mortals, but your future depends on the information you give us.”

It happened so fast, she didn't even see him move. He was standing over her, his hands on the back of her chair, leaning down with his face inches from hers. She bit back her first instinct, which was to palm-strike him in the jaw. But, she wasn’t sure it would really hurt him. He might even like it. So, she sat rock-still instead.

“What if I have a different condition in exchange for my cooperation, Ms. Romanoff?” He whispered very quietly, his lips on her ear.

“What do you mean, different condition? You’re not exactly in a position to negotiate.” She kept her voice quiet and well-modulated. “And, I suggest you sit back down, or those guards will be in here in a heartbeat, and neither of us will get what we want.”

The only move he made was to brush his cheek across hers as he moved his lips to her other ear. 

“I decide what the guards see and hear. As far as they’re concerned, we’re sitting here having a polite conversation while you ask me some questions. That's what they'll continue to see.”

At that moment, she understood how little that collar was limiting his power. He had let them believe it was keeping him in check, when in reality he did as he pleased. He stood up straight and crossed his arms, but did not move away from her. She refused to be intimidated, and continued in a soft tone.

“So, do you just walk out and wander around Asgard whenever you want? Why are you still here? Why not just leave and never come back?”

“Because Asgard is rightfully mine, and I won’t leave it in the hands of my naïve brother, mildly endearing as he can sometimes be. I’ll give you the information you asked for. But, there’s something I want in exchange.”

He tapped her temple with his middle finger. 

“Since we first met, I've lived in that corner of your mind where no mortal would ever be allowed. I’ve lived inside your dreams and I know you better than you know yourself. I'm the Prince of your dark fantasies who wakes you up in a cold sweat, am I not?”

Silence hung in the air like mist while she considered his words. She counted her own heartbeats for a full minute.

*****

She struck upward with the heel of her left hand. She saw his head jerk back and heard his teeth clack together and knew that strike would have broken the jaw of any human. Instead, he grabbed both her hands and used his weight to topple her chair backwards. They landed in a crash of wood as the chair broke apart. He was on top of her, and she felt the hard bulge between his legs pressing into her. A trickle of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth, and he let a drop fall onto her lower lip.

She licked the blood off her lip and he smiled. He flashed a vivid snapshot image into her mind, and she saw herself in a gold collar with chains going to manacles on both wrists, kneeling in front of him. She was naked.

She head-butted him as hard as she could, and heard the satisfying crack of his nose breaking. It stunned him enough to allow her to push him off her, and she rolled to her feet. But, what happens now? If she left now, then she’d have failed at what she came here for. There had to be another way.

In the seconds she stood there thinking, something strange began to happen. The nose she had smashed nearly flat began to reform itself, centimeter by centimeter. In moments, the only remaining hint of the damage was the blood. His face was perfect again, and he wiped the blood with his sleeve.

He looked up at her. “One of the skills I learned from Frigga that she thought best to keep between us. You really do pack quite a punch, though. I’m impressed. Remind me never to let you catch me off-guard again.”

“Why did you show me something that was only between you and Frigga? Trying to gain my trust?”

“Something like that. You understand how negotiations work.”

Loki was right and they both knew it. He had been living in her head and apparently she in his. Did it form some sort of permanent link when he penetrated someone else’s mind as deeply as he had hers? Mind games were his specialty and he was relishing this one. She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the truth that the man in her dreams was not only real, but he was a psychopath who wasn't even human.

Until Clint had made a choice that had allowed her to leave her previous life behind, sex was only a weapon; a tool to gain information. Her fantasies were just that, and were only for her, not for some demented god. Discipline was what made her the perfectly-tuned machine she was. So, she stood her ground.

“Just tell me what I want to know and you’ll be out of this dungeon as soon as I talk to Thor. Surely, your freedom is worth more than the entertainment value of tormenting me.”

“You said it yourself. I go where I please. I can disguise myself as anyone I want and I happen to be in the middle of some very important negotiations. I don’t want my freedom just yet.”

“I could tell Thor his collar is worthless.” She said, seeing an opening.

“You could, but you won’t.”

“Why won’t I?”

As he stood up from the floor, he clenched his right fist. She was suddenly pinned against the wall, invisible shackles holding her by the neck, wrists, and ankles. She tried to look away from him, but couldn't. He made a small motion with his hand and her clothes were gone. She could not have felt more vulnerable as he stood a few feet away, studying her.

“You really are beautiful, and so strong. I always thought of mortal women as fragile. You should have been born Asgardian. What a pair we would have made.”

She said nothing, afraid her voice would break.

A subtle golden glow surrounded him and he was in full battle armor, gold gauntlets gleaming in the light. He looked every bit the god she had seen that first night on the streets of Stuttgart, when he had brought Steve to his knees. His fingers entwined with hers as he effortlessly slid her hands above her head. He pressed his weight against her and she felt stiff leather and cold metal bite into her naked skin. She inhaled sharply and he pressed harder.

His voice was a silky stage whisper. 

“Isn't this what you want? The Prince? The god? The one who can make you bend to his will? Be careful what you wish for, my warrior queen, because I can give it to you. All of it.”

He kissed her, hard and deeply. Her head was spinning...his lips, his scent, his voice, his eyes, his strength, his power, everything was straight out of her dreams. What was left of her resolve melted away and she realized she had nothing left with which to fight him. She leaned her head back against the wall and let it happen.

“So, we have a bargain?” He asked. She sighed and nodded.

How could he be the exact man from her dreams? Maybe a better question was why wouldn't he be? He was a shapeshifter, a healer, a sorcerer, and he knew her dreams. Maybe he had even planted them. Her head cleared a little and she saw his armor had morphed into a pair of green silk drawstring pants. And, he had a scar; a big one that extended from his left shoulder down across his chest to his sternum. If he could heal himself, why was that still there? A badge of honor? She left that question for later. 

The shackles dropped away. He kissed her again, scooped her into his arms as if she weighed nothing, and carried her to his bed. At any other time, she might have taken a minute to admire the craftsmanship of the hand-carved headboard with its dragons and runes that probably had some Asgardian significance. Right now, she didn’t give a damn about it. But, she’d had a moment to regain her composure and her mind was again filled with the conviction that she could not submit to this man, this god, whatever he was. If she did, she would be lost. Her free will would be gone, and that did not happen to Natasha Romanoff.

So, the second he put her down, she sprung to her knees behind him and put him in a choke hold. Finally, when she was sure he was nearly unconscious, she loosened her grip and said “Just tell me. Tell me what I want to know about the Chitauri.”

Loki took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Oh, Natasha, you should not have done that. We had a bargain.”

He focused on a spot just over her shoulder. As she watched, another Loki shimmered into existence, standing at the foot of the bed. He was a faultless duplicate of the original, down to the drawstring pants. The real Loki's focus shifted from the duplicate of himself to her as he settled back against the headboard.

The tone of his voice changed to a deeper and more commanding one. 

“Enough of this. I gave you the chance for gentle and sweet, and believe me, that goes against my very nature. We do this my way, now, if you still want what I know.”

“All right, yes, I do.”

She realized she'd made a mistake, but, she'd come too far to back out now. She needed information, and this wouldn’t be the first time she’d gotten it this way.

“On your hands and knees, facing me.” 

He waited for her to comply, which she did, slowly.

“Now, move backwards two feet. Knees apart, on either side of me. Keep your eyes on mine. Is that clear?”

She hesitated for a moment before saying “Crystal.”

“Yes or no will suffice.”

“Yes,” she said.

She knew the other Loki was behind her, but she did not turn around. A loud, stinging smack took her by surprise as the clone spanked her hard on the right butt cheek with an open hand. That would leave a mark, but it was not enough to make her break eye contact. A second smack landed almost immediately, but she still didn't look away.

“That's just a little taste of what'll happen if you try something like that again.”

He grabbed the front of his pants as if to tear them away and they disappeared into his clenched hand.

“Now, I'm going to be generous and hold the base of my cock for you. You will use only your tongue and your lips. You will not use your hands and you will not put it in your mouth. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

While she did as she was told, the clone ran the tip of his erection up and down just inside her labia until it was very wet, then rammed into her hard. It was big enough to cause her momentary pain, it was punishing, and she gasped and closed her eyes. As soon as she did, there was another hard smack on her right butt cheek.

“I said eyes on me. Don't look away and don't stop what you're doing. If you make me repeat myself again, you won't be happy about it.”

Locking eyes with him again, she continued licking, kissing, and running her lips up and down his shaft and head as the duplicate thrust into her in a slow rhythm. She could see a faint smile on Loki's face as he watched her.

“Put it in your mouth now. If you can't take the whole thing, tap my arm.”

She gagged as she took it all the way in and reflexively put her hand on his. He jerked her up by the hair and a fourth hard blow landed in the same place as the first three. Ow; God, that stung. She could feel the heat and the welts rising up. She also felt a heat in her core that she hadn’t felt in years; maybe ever. 

“What did I say about hands?”

By way of an answer, she grasped his hips firmly with both hands and again took him in her mouth. Her whole body was throbbing with every heartbeat.

“When I come, you can swallow what's in the back of your throat, but you are not to swallow what's in your mouth. Tap my arm if you understand.” She tapped.

Still gripping her hair, he forced himself just a little farther down her throat with every stroke, until she gagged again. He let her breathe with every thrust, but he also pushed farther in, until she had a moment of panic. Then, she felt him spasm and the back of her throat filled. She managed to swallow without choking. He pulled halfway out and spurted again, this time in her mouth. She did not swallow. 

“Well done, Ms Romanoff,” he said. “Now, kiss me. I quite like the taste of my own cum.”

*****

The clone was no longer inside her, and when she turned around, he was nowhere in sight. Loki said “I can’t usually hold onto him through orgasm. It takes too much concentration to keep him tangible.”

He laughed and pulled her head to his chest, stroking her hair as if they were lovers and not enemies or...whatever this was.

“There's still something I want to show you. The secret you’re most afraid of; the real red in your ledger.”

He flicked his wrist, and a dagger appeared in his hand. Probably the very one he’d used to stab Thor, she thought. He slowly let the tip slip down her neck and around her breasts, her abdomen, and down between her thighs. She didn’t move. She knew how sharp it was. She also knew it was his weapon of choice, and he was a master with it.

She watched, mesmerized, as Loki then set the tip of the dagger to his own throat. He applied just enough pressure to create a thin line of blood as he slowly moved it downward. The glistening blade cut two vertical lines down his chest as he increased the pressure. He pulled two fingers across his dripping blood and put them to his lips.

No, she thought. Not this. Please, not this. If he knew this, then he really did know every twisted dream she'd ever had. He kissed her, and she tasted his blood for the second time today. How could any sane person want anything to do with her after knowing this? 

But, this was Loki. It didn't matter to him that in her dream she had tasted his blood and liked it. Loved it, even. He wanted her the way she was. He wanted her so much that he was willing to tell everything he knew in order to have her. The welts on her bottom were stinging and her whole body felt like a raw nerve. She was simultaneously aware and ashamed of the fact that she was dripping wet for him. Tears ran down her cheeks and she could not meet his eyes.

He whispered to her gently. 

“Natasha, just listen to my voice. I understand you the way no one else does, and I told you I've seen your dreams. No tears, no shame, no guilt. No apologies for who you are. Especially with me. Now, lay back and spread your legs for me.”

Still sobbing, she did as she was told and he knelt between them. He was over her, kissing her, and two fingers went inside her. His thumb rested on her clitoris and began to trace little circles of pressure on it. She was burning hot, and his fingers were cool inside her. She held onto the idea that all she needed to do was whatever he asked. Yes, she could focus on him. As his fingers started to move faster, she began to squirm, her pelvis lifting toward him.

“No,” he said. “Hold still, unless you want those welts to get bigger.”

Her legs were trembling, but she held still as his fingers brought her closer and closer to the edge. He did not let her go over it.

“Mm. I really don't believe you could get any wetter, Natasha. And, all for me.”

He pulled her hips up onto his thighs. His head tilted back and he groaned as he slid half-way inside her; she was so hot and wet and tight around him. Her legs were shaking as they wrapped around him. He felt the heat in his eyes as red flecks began to form in his irises, the Jotunn half of him breaking through the glamour of his Asgardian form. He took a deep breath to keep from going over the edge himself before he spoke again.

“You do not come until I tell you. If you forget, you'll leave here with a matching set of welts on the other side of that perfect posterior. Am I clear?”

She nodded, his voice and him inside her the only things that mattered right now.

“Say it.”

“Yes, you're clear. I won't come until you say.”

He thrust deep and hard into her and very nearly lost all control.

His pelvis rubbed against her clitoris with every stroke. She was desperate, but was determined not to beg, and he knew he couldn't hold out much longer, either. The red flecks in his eyes grew larger and larger until his irises were burning red embers, and he finally said the words she'd been waiting for, teetering on the edge.

“Come for me, Natasha.”

Her back arched and her moan was nearly a scream. Her legs around him pulled him even deeper as wave after wave washed over her. When she clenched around his cock, he allowed himself the same release, and his deep, throaty growl sounded more animal than human. She had never heard a sound like that before.

Spent, they lay there together for a long time. He flashed the image of her on her knees in the collar again. 

“Natasha, I’m not the same man that attacked your Earth. That man is gone and far away. Tell Thor what you know if you must, but believe me when I tell you I am no danger to Earth or to you. There is far, far worse waiting out there. Perhaps I can tell you some day soon. For now, know that the only thing I want besides my freedom is you, willing, in my collar.”

He left it there, not expecting an answer, and proceeded to tell her everything she wanted to know about the Chitauri.

By the time he finished, she had regained most of her composure, in spite of the discomfort her pants caused as they rubbed across the welts when she walked. She'd feel that reminder for a couple of days. Loki had made her dreams real and had made her face her worst demons. Of course, he was one of them, but still; he had given her something she hadn't known she needed until today. Did she owe him her silence in exchange for that? And the collar...she couldn’t imagine how she’d ever say yes to that.

“Maybe next time,” she smiled as she turned for the door.

As the guard opened the door, Loki whispered in her ear.

“In the end, you will always kneel. Goodbye, Ms. Romanoff.”

He winked and she walked through the door back to reality.

 CHAPTER TWO: AMSTERDAM

In which Natasha shows Loki how mortals party and Loki gives her a gift. These events take place a year or so after the end of Dark World.

*****

Natasha had had a rough few months. Although things had been pretty quiet on the scale of interplanetary and even international events, she had been working hard. The Avengers training facility had gotten a major upgrade from Tony, and she’d been upping her game in weapons training. It was starting to take a toll, and she needed a day off.

She had showered and dressed when a green cloud appeared in her bedroom. She lunged for her Glock, which was never far away, and was pointing it directly at the cloud when a figure appeared in the middle of it and solidified into a person. It was Loki.

“Hello, Natasha. Did you miss me?”

She opened her mouth, but for a few seconds, no sound came out. Finally, she lowered the pistol.

“You’re dead. Thor said you died in that miserable place in an alternate dimension or something. He said you died saving him.”

“Not quite. Dead, I mean. About ninety-five percent. I did save him, that’s true. But, circumstances dictated that it was better to let everyone believe I was one hundred percent dead. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner.”

She looked unconvinced. It had been nearly a year since his supposed death. But, she didn't protest as he scooped her up, hitched her legs around his waist, and said “Do I feel dead to you?” 

She could feel that godly erection growing as her legs tightened around him. Incredible. It really was him.

“And you came all this way just to tell me you aren’t dead?” She unhooked her legs from his waist and stood facing him.

“That and...other business,” he answered.

“Father has had something of a mental breakdown, and it wouldn’t do for Asgard’s enemies to know that. I’ve had him hidden away in the countryside, but it was getting too difficult to keep him hidden. So, I moved him to a private care facility here in Midgard. I’ve been taking care of the throne while he’s indisposed. It’s been quite a job rebuilding after the Dark Elf War. They destroyed half of Asgard.”

“You mean you’re impersonating Odin. On the throne of Asgard.” She shook her head. 

“You have to tell Thor. He’s been spending his time patrolling the galaxy because he thinks everything is under control back home.”

“It is. For the moment, things are quiet and I’m bored. I can never be me. I think about you a lot, actually. Quite surprising that I could miss a mortal. Much like a pet, I suppose.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“What makes you think I want anything to do with you right now, just because you're bored?”

“Come on, Natasha. Don't play hard-to-get. If our little tete-a-tete meant nothing to you, you would have told Thor about his impotent collar. I know you missed me. Maybe even mourned me a little?” He arched an eyebrow at her.

It was true. To her surprise, she had mourned him. Of course, she hadn’t been able to tell anyone, so that had made it harder, and was partially why she’d thrown herself so completely into training as much as possible. She sighed. 

“Oh, all right. I missed you. So, what do you want?”

“What I really want is to bend you over that table right now; but, I won’t. I’ve resolved to savor the day, so to speak. Let’s go somewhere no one knows either of us, and just have fun. I need a distraction. I promise I won’t use any magic in public. Nothing ostentatious, anyway.”

“Somewhere no one knows either of us? Wow. That eliminates all of North America, Russia, Australia, half of Africa, and half of Europe. Ok...hmm...maybe Amsterdam. We could probably disappear there for a couple of days.” She nodded. 

“You’re on.” She grabbed her go-bag.

The green cloud began to swirl around them and they emerged in the middle of Rembrandt Park in Amsterdam. Nothing ostentatious. Natasha shook her head.

*****

They checked into a 5-star hotel downtown. They were in civilian clothes, and no one paid them much attention.

The room didn't need any of Loki's illusions to be magic. The bed was luxurious, the chiffon curtains let in just enough light to cast subtle shadows from the streetlights, and the wall across from the bed was a mirror. Probably to make the room seem bigger, Natasha thought, but certainly strategically placed for other things.

After dinner at the hotel restaurant, during which Loki asked a hundred questions about Amsterdam, they went back up to their room. He flopped onto the bed.

“What now? This is your planet, so I’m putting you in charge of entertainment. Don’t disappoint me.”

“I know just the place” Natasha said confidently. There’s a semi-famous Goth/Fetish club not far from here. You’ll fit right in.”

Loki raised his eyebrows. “Oh? How so? Filled with handsome gods, is it?”

She rolled her eyes.

“Lots of pale people with black hair and black clothes; loud music, dark rooms, weird props; that sort of thing. These are your people.”

He jumped off the bed, extended his arms, and was dressed in an impeccable, fitted black suit with black shirt and black tie. His black hair was slicked back in his usual style. Natasha caught her breath. God, he was stunning, and she had missed him. Her head had been a lonely place, lately, in spite of Bruce. She disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes and emerged in a knee-length black cocktail dress.

Loki asked “Do you mind if I modify your dress a little? Something more appealing?”

She thought she looked plenty appealing. But, before she could answer, he snapped his fingers and she was wearing a skin-tight, shiny black PVC dress with a big zipper up the back. Ok, not bad, she thought, looking in the mirror. Maybe she really could just relax and enjoy herself for a day or two. So, his question caught her by surprise.

“Tell me, Natasha, is Banner what you really want? The sensitive, shy scientist who spends every moment he’s not in his laboratory feeling sorry for himself because the better part of him is a green monster?”

“How dare you? You let me think you were dead for a year, and you have the right to question the men I spend time with? Maybe I like women, too. What the hell do you know about it?”

“Quite a lot, as it turns out, Ms. Romanoff. I’ve been alive nearly 1100 years, and my tastes are far more eclectic than my traditional, boring brother. I’ve been with more genders and species than you can imagine. I even thought I was in love once, but he betrayed me for power and broke my heart.

My point is that nothing came close to what happened with you in the dungeon—that connection. We are not traditional and we are more alike than you think. The sooner you accept that, the happier you'll be.”

She had not expected an admission like that from him. But, she really didn't want to think about the implications of it right now.

“I’m not arguing about this tonight. You wanted to have fun? Let’s go have fun.” 

She was glad he had chosen not to invade her head and analyze her feelings for Bruce. They were complicated. And, Bruce had been gone quite awhile.

The club was everything Natasha had promised and more. Loud music and crowds of people to watch. He took it all in while they drank. And drank. She stopped trying to keep up while Loki tossed down a dozen local craft beers, ten or twelve mixed drinks, and finally asked for a bottle of Aquavit, which he had nearly finished. He wasn’t even slurring his words. She had seen Thor drink like that, but thought that was just Thor being Thor.

Meanwhile, they attracted attention. A good-looking man in a dark grey, ankle-length coat asked Natasha to dance, and Loki watched, fascinated, as she danced and even flirted a little. That was very out of character for her. Was that for his benefit? When she came back, she put her arms around his neck and yelled over the music 

“You know that any woman in here would go home with you if you asked her. Probably half the men, too.”

He looked shocked, and said “Really? What’s wrong with the other half?”

Before she could answer, he took her by the hand and pulled her to the back of the club where the bathrooms were. Loki waited impatiently for the next available one, and yanked her inside with him. Without a word, he bent her over the sink, pushed up her dress, and physically tore her panties off.

He didn't care if she had an orgasm. This wasn't for her. He spit on his hand, wet his cock, and slammed it into her. It didn't take long. He came so violently, her head smacked against the mirror and cracked it. Unfazed, she turned to face him, looking annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Natasha. I just couldn’t take it any more. I overestimated my capacity for self-denial. And possibly alcohol.” He smiled weakly. “Did I hurt you?”

“It's a little painful that you shredded my forty-dollar underwear, yes. But, it's ok. Let’s go back to the hotel and you can make it up to me.”

As they waited out front for a taxi, Natasha was trying not to feel conspicuous as she clenched her legs together. With no underwear, cum was dripping down the insides of both thighs. 

“How much do you people ejaculate, anyway? It seems like a lot.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“You should remember. You tell me,” he said, with a grin.

They were quiet on the ride home. She fidgeted with her dress, and Loki very much enjoyed her discomfort.

*****

As soon as they walked through the door of the hotel room, Loki's black suit morphed into the green drawstring pants she had seen before. His chest was bare and just below his sternum was a new scar; a jagged one about four inches long. She touched it softly and put her arms around him. She flinched when she felt a matching one on his back, just to the left of his spine.

“The Dark Elves,” he said. “A parting gift from the monster who killed Frigga, just before I killed him. I keep these as a reminder of her.”

He was so matter-of-fact about a wound that would have killed literally anyone else. He continued to surprise her.

His mood abruptly shifted to broody and mysterious. He circled slowly around behind her and unzipped her dress. When it dropped to the floor, he bent over her, put one arm around her waist and the other hand on her throat, resting softly just above her collarbone. He tilted her head back until her ear touched his lips and whispered.

“Do you trust me, Natasha?”

“Should I?”

“Yes. You should trust that I will never harm you. I would very much like to tie you up. How do you feel about that?”

“I'm not scared of it. But, it's always been in the line of duty, not for pleasure.”

“I thought as much. You said earlier I could make it up to you. Put yourself in my hands now and let me do that.”

As he led her to the bed, a coil of gold rope appeared in his hand. He fluffed the pillows against the headboard.

“Sit back in a comfortable position.” 

“Take deep breaths and try to relax as much as possible. This is Kinbaku, the Japanese art of binding. It can be a meditative experience for both the binder and the one bound. Midgard’s best contribution to the Nine Realms. I want you to experience the beauty of it.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply several times, then focused on Loki and nodded. His eyes were sparkling.

He carefully and expertly tied her hands to the headboard, then made multiple loops and knots down each arm, making sure the coils weren't too tight or too loose. Then, the rope went around her back and breasts, making a figure-eight pattern. He snugged the rope down so that her breasts jutted firmly upward and continued the pattern down her torso and around her waist.

“Knees up.” 

He tied another rope around each thigh, calf, and ankle, in multiple coils and knots, then to the side of the bed, around some invisible anchor he'd created. She could not straighten her legs nor could she put them together. He’d made sure she could see herself in the mirror and she was getting warmer and wetter by the minute watching him work. This was clearly art to him, and he loved doing it. 

She did trust him, and that was a sentiment she never thought she would feel. Still, knowing how dangerous and potentially unstable he could be increased her excitement a little. He stood up on the bed to admire his work. 

“Look what you've done to me already,” he said, cradling the bulge in his pants.

She studied herself in the mirror. It was a beautiful image, the intricate patterns and knots of the gold rope against her skin. He touched the rope again and it began to glow with a soft amber light. 

“By all the gods in Asgard, that is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,” he said, shaking his head in wonder.

He knelt between her knees and leaned over, just brushing her neck with his lips. His arms held his weight off her, but she could feel his cool skin as it moved across her nipples, which were now extraordinarily sensitive from being bound so tightly. As he moved down toward her center, his teeth left faint marks on her neck and breasts, and every nip sent a shiver of electricity between her legs.

His tongue went between her thighs and to her clitoris. He touched it lightly and she closed her eyes. “Look at me,” he said, making eye contact with her as his lips and tongue teased her. Seeing those eyes looking up at her made her even wetter than she had been, and she hadn’t thought that was possible. She wanted to close her legs around him, but the ropes prevented her. 

She groaned and said “I need you inside me.”

One finger slipped briefly inside her. “Oh, you are hot and wet and tempting, but no.” 

He moved back up to her breasts. This time, his teeth felt a little sharper and caused a little pain when he bit. She gasped and arched her back.

He moved up to her neck and to her mouth. He kissed her deeply, enjoying her helplessness as she struggled ineffectually to put her arms around him. He let his erection press against her through his pants, and he was rock-hard.

“You have no idea how difficult it is to keep from just burying my cock in you right now. To see you unable to close your legs and so dripping wet is almost more than I can stand.” His voice was deep and husky.

He moved back down and began nipping and kissing the insides of her thighs. She couldn’t help moving her hips and legs as much as the ropes would permit.

“Keep those hips still, Natasha. Just focus on the sensation. I want to feel you come on my mouth.”

“I don’t know if I can,” she said.

“Are you doubting me?” He feigned insult and raised an eyebrow.

His tongue licked her inner folds, moving closer to her clitoris, and he had to remind her again to hold still. She was moaning almost continuously when he began to gently suck while his tongue moved up and down. The scent of her arousal was almost enough to make his control slip, and he felt his eyes start to turn red as she bucked and came against his lips.

As she regained her breath and recovered, he undid the knots and pulled the ropes away, massaging her wrists and ankles. Even though he could just magic them away, he enjoyed this part of the ritual. She stretched like a cat, relaxing into the post-orgasm bliss.

“I shouldn't have doubted you. It's never felt that good before.” She kissed him, tasting herself on his lips. “I could really use a nice, hot shower now, though.”

“I’d like that,” he said. “Just know that I’m nowhere near finished with you tonight.” He put her hand on the bulge in his pants where they were wet from pushing against her.

They took the longest, steamiest shower Natasha had had in a long time. They didn’t really have showers in Asgard so much as they had huge, swimming-pool-esque bathtubs, so this was a bit of a novelty for Loki. While she stood with her back against the tiles, he sat and leaned his head on her thighs, eyes closed. He stayed there with the hot water beating down on his back until it began to cool.

Natasha dried off and sat on the bed. Loki walked to the window and stood for a couple of minutes looking out at the street lamps. He hadn’t bothered to dry off, and the light hitting the water droplets made his white skin glisten. He looked like a marble sculpture.

When he turned back toward the bed, Natasha saw he now had something in his hands. A glint of metal caught the light and she could see it was a collar. He focused on a spot directly in front of him. She recognized that shimmer, and in a moment, another Loki appeared. The clone stood with head bowed while Loki attached the metal collar around his neck, then extended his hands in front of him so he could be cuffed. The result was a heavy gold collar with two chains, one leading to each of the wrist cuffs, which were joined by a shorter chain. 

Loki fixed his eyes on Natasha as the clone knelt in front of him, and she knew exactly what he was showing her. Complete surrender. No mortal man had ever been able to make her feel the way he had in that prison cell or just now in this hotel room. But, she didn’t know if she could ever submit to anyone that way, even to the keeper of her secrets.

She felt a shiver of excitement as the clone took Loki’s cock in his mouth with his cuffed hands and began to work it expertly, licking and sucking the shaft and head while the thumb and index finger of each hand held the base tightly, palms resting on either side. The metal collar and chains reflected the light and clinked softly. The visual and the sounds were quite beautiful. He was a master of the erotic aesthetic, that was certain, she thought, as she squirmed a little taking it all in.

Loki’s left hand reached around the back of the clone’s head and grabbed a fistful of hair, forcing his double to look up at him. He focused on the clone, hand working his twin’s head back and forth by the hair, until he was breathing fast and his muscles tensed. Loki’s head snapped backward and his eyes closed; his hips thrust hard and he shot his cum into his clone’s mouth, hand still clutching hair.

He relaxed and pulled back, taking a few deep breaths. The clone became partially indistinct, faded out a bit, then regained solid form. He stayed in a kneeling position, eyes still on Loki.

Loki gave a throaty laugh and said “I’d almost forgotten how good I am at that.”

The clone rose from the floor and stood at the foot of the bed, facing Natasha as Loki sat down next to her.

The clone began to stroke himself until he was hard, then crooked a finger, motioning Natasha to come forward. The chains made subtle clinking noises as his hands moved. As Natasha took his cock in her mouth, he raised his hands so they could slip behind her head. She could feel the cuffs and chain on the back of her neck as her head moved rhythmically back and forth. It was not unpleasant.

The clone took one step to the left, pulling Natasha with him. As she settled back onto the bed, she found Loki was now under her. He was hard again already and guided her hips down onto his cock. He moaned and leaned back on his elbows, watching as she moved up and down on him while still sucking the clone. It was all he could do to stay in control.

When he could stand it no more, he stilled her hips with his hands, waiting for the moment to pass. He had nearly lost control, which he refused to do just yet. He had had to stop concentrating on the clone, though, and it was fading out of existence. As it disappeared, the wrist cuffs that were behind Natasha’s head went slack, and the collar that had been around the clone’s neck dropped to the floor. She was essentially wearing the cuffs and chains draped around her neck now, the two strands of heavy metal dangling.

In one deft move, she spun around to face Loki, still riding him. She began to move up and down again, feeling the cool metal slapping against her breasts, letting him enjoy the sight of her. Flecks of red started to form in his eyes and she wanted to see more.

She was in control now, and she wasn’t giving it up. When his eyes closed, she knew he was close. 

“You come for me now, Loki. I want to feel you come inside me.” 

He pulled her downward by her hips as his pelvis easily lifted her off the bed to drive deep inside her. His head tilted back and she felt him spasm inside her once, twice, three times. His groans of pleasure sounded human this time, but his skin turned blue for a few moments. She collapsed on top of him and rolled to the side, panting.

Finally, she laughed and said “I hope you enjoyed that, because that’s as close as you’re going to get to me wearing your collar and chains.”

“Ha. And you did say my name.” He grinned. “It’s enough. For now.”

They fell asleep with her head on his chest, her cheek resting on his scarred shoulder, her hand on the jagged tissue just below his ribcage. She had heard the story from Thor and was still astounded he had been able to heal himself from that. Well, he is a god, for all intents and purposes, so the bigger question was what can't he do?

*****

When they woke, it was mid-morning. Natasha ordered a huge room-service breakfast and announced she needed a shower. He caught her wrist.

“Wait. I like you smelling of sex and of me.” He inhaled deeply and held it for a moment. 

“No other creature in the Nine Realms smells exactly like that. Only you. But, if you tell me what you have planned for today, I’ll let you go shower.”

“Well, that’s a little weird. Your nose is that sensitive?”

“Yes. It’s a Jotunn thing. Saved my life on more than one occasion. If another Jotunn caught wind of me right now, I would smell like sex and you, which I rather like.” He grinned.

“The Jotunn comes out when my emotional control slips, too. You've seen it. I can't quite suppress it when I'm with you.”

“Why do you want to suppress it?”

“Because I could injure you.”

So, maybe he did feel something real for her, and this wasn’t just sexual. There were too many layers of him for her to be certain. 

She changed the subject.

“I was thinking we’d walk around the city today. Just be tourists and see the sights. The only photos the press had of you were all in full armor with helmet, so I think a good pair of sunglasses is all you need. Besides, you’re dead. No one is looking for you. And, a change of hair color and sunglasses are all I need.”

A knock came at the door and it was room service. As she put on a hotel bathrobe, she noted that Loki was still naked, stretched out on his back with his hands behind his head. No sense of modesty whatsoever. She smiled as she pulled the sheet up over his hips before opening the door. 

“Remember, you’re not King here. Midgardian social norms apply.”

They finished breakfast and were discussing what type of clothing would be appropriate for seeing the sights when her phone rang. It was a distinctive, obnoxious ring and a photo of Nick Fury appeared. Natasha sighed and took the call.

“Yes, I get it, sir. I can be there in a couple of hours.” She shrugged.

“Duty calls, Ms. Romanoff. The price we pay to protect our kingdoms. You check us out of the hotel, and I’ll get you home.”

They arrived back in her bedroom in a swirl of green mist.

“It wasn’t as much time as I had hoped, but more than I truly expected,” Loki said, shrugging his shoulders. “It’ll sustain me until next time.”

“Until next time? Surely, there are Asgardian women who would happily have sex with Odin?” Natasha asked.

“Of course, but I don't care about them. Besides, it's some effort to have sex while maintaining someone else's physical appearance.”

He kissed her gently, his lips lingering on hers for a few moments before he disappeared in a green cloud.

When she opened her bag, she found what he had left her. A perfectly-sized gold collar, cuffs and chains. There was a note, hand-written in gold ink.

“For next time. L.”

 

 CHAPTER THREE: RAGNAROK

In which Loki makes a revelation, Natasha makes a decision, and Thanos makes himself known. These events begin a short time before Thor: Ragnarok

*****

Thor pulled up a chair to watch as Natasha and Clint sparred, offering helpful advice to both parties. After a particularly rough throw, Natasha took a deep breath and announced “I think I’m done for the day. I’ve done enough damage to your ego, Clint.“ 

He laughed and nodded tiredly as Thor gave him a hand up, then trotted off to shower.

She turned around. “What are you doing here, Thor? I thought you were out there somewhere,” she said, gesturing vaguely at the sky.

“I was, but I come bearing an odd message for you from father via Heimdall,” he said, sounding slightly confused.

“Odin? For me?” Natasha asked, keeping her voice neutral. It had been months since she’d last seen Loki.

“He wishes you to come to Asgard. Apparently, you made an impression on him when you came to interview Loki. He says it’s a matter of personal importance to you, and that it may take a day or two.”

She smiled inwardly. Interview was certainly an intriguing word for it. She wondered what could be so important that Loki would actually send for her. That was a bold move, even for him. She had thought quite a bit about that night in Amsterdam; she was still trying to sort out exactly what he meant to her and she to him. The only thing she knew for certain was that theirs was a unique relationship. Bruce had been gone almost two years now; the last she’d seen of him, Hulk was in a spaceship that would almost certainly not be coming back to Earth. She hoped he was ok. She missed him, but she missed Loki, too, and that was much deeper than what she felt for Bruce, if she was being completely honest with herself.

“All right. We have nothing more serious than the usual going on at the moment. Gun runners and minor despots. I’ll get my bag and meet you out front. We wouldn't want to keep Odin waiting.”

She grabbed her bag from her apartment in the Avengers complex, remembering that she had never removed the gift Loki had left her. She hadn't quite been able to bring herself to take it out of her bag. She'd kept the note, too.

She met Thor in front of the building. “Hold on to me.” He looked up, and said “Heimdall! Bring us home.” The trip to Asgard on the Bifrost was as memorable and disorienting as the first time. Thor left her with Heimdall. 

“Welcome to Asgard again, Ms. Romanoff. Odin is expecting you.” 

She felt her pulse speed up as she thought about that. She accompanied a guard, who left her at the door to Odin’s private chambers.

She knocked twice and the door opened. She stepped into the most magnificent antechamber she’d ever seen. She had never been this far inside the palace, and was a little awestruck by how ornate and just plain big everything was. In the center of the room stood Odin.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Odin melted away and in his place stood Loki. Beautiful, brilliant, broken Loki, and he took her breath away.

This time, she had no doubts about what she wanted, and it was him. Before he even spoke a word, she grabbed him with both hands, spun him around, and slammed him into a wall. The surprise in his eyes was quickly replaced by the fire she had seen when he had let her see the Frost Giant part of him. It was pure, unadulterated lust. She thought if she’d had any Frost Giant DNA, her eyes would be red now, too. 

Still holding him by the lapels of his jacket, she said “Get rid of all these clothes. I need to feel your skin.”

Before she’d even finished her sentence, their clothes were gone. She was glad to see he had no new scars this time. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and kissed him. It was rough and demanding and even she was surprised at how much she needed him. She pulled herself upward and locked her legs around his waist, that familiar hardness pressing against her. God, she had missed that; missed him. 

Their breathing was already ragged and urgent as she buried her hands in his hair and said “Fuck me. Fuck me harder than you’ve ever fucked anyone. I need your cock inside me.”

He lifted her hips and slammed her down onto his hard cock as he spun around so that she was the one with her back against the wall. The sheer force of his pelvis lifted her up and down, her shoulders and back hitting the wall with every thrust. It felt like an earthquake. She pulled his face close, found the soft curve just below the corner of his jaw, and bit hard into his neck. He groaned as if in pain and buckled, almost going to his knees, but caught himself on the wall with his hands. At first, she didn't know what was happening and then she saw his skin was already turning blue. He was struggling to stay in control.

He stayed propped against the wall on his forearms for a full five seconds, eyes closed and breathing hard. When he straightened up again, he offered her the other side of his neck. She bit him again and dug her nails into his back, drawing blood from the scar near his spine. He groaned again and sucked in a deep breath. The harder she bit and dug in, the harder he rammed into her, and the brighter blue he turned. His skin was cold to the touch, and she felt his cock grow harder and colder inside her. His eyes were fiery red now, and every thrust threatened to break her, but she wanted more. She could feel the rumble in his chest start to build.

This. This is what she wanted. To make him lose control. To feel his power unleashed. 

The waves of intensity strengthened every time his pelvis connected with hers; it just kept getting better the harder he went, and her orgasm seemed to go on forever. Finally, he could no longer contain his own energy. His muscles tensed hard under the cold blue skin, and it felt to her as though he came multiple times as he crushed her against the wall again and again. Her back would be a mass of bruises tomorrow, but she didn't care. The roaring noise he made was so loud it echoed through the antechamber and she feared someone would hear and come into the room.

They melted to the floor in a tangled, panting heap. His eyes went from red to brown to their normal blue and his skin slowly returned to the pale cream she was accustomed to. She knew he was self-conscious about the blue skin color, thanks to Odin, but she liked it very much.

“You sent for me, your highness?” Natasha asked, without a trace of inflection in her voice.

He picked her up, carried her to the bedroom, and literally tossed her onto the bed.

“Yes, I did send for you. I knew you were coming, and you still managed to catch me off guard again. How do I keep letting you do that? I’m beginning to understand how Thor feels every time he falls for the same trick I’ve used on him for five hundred years.”

She looked up at him quizzically and asked “What is this matter of a personal nature your highness wishes to discuss with me? Or did we just have that discussion? It was rather interesting.”

“You know I could have killed you? Humans are not made for Frost Giant sex. Luckily for you, I was able to rein it in enough. Barely. But, be careful. The rougher it gets, the more I slip, and you really do not want me to lose control completely.”

“Try me. But, maybe not right now. I might need a day or two.” She laughed. 

“What exactly did you want, again, King Odin, sir?”

By way of an answer, he glanced at one corner of the bedroom and uncloaked what he’d been hiding: three dead Chitauri. He handed her a dressing gown, and put on his favorite green silk lounge pants. He was a creature of habit in some ways, for as far afield as his mind often went, she thought. The fact that he hadn't made the bite marks or the red stripes down his back go away made her inexplicably happy, though. She sighed and rolled her eyes at herself for acting like a lovesick teenager.

Ok...back to the three dead Chitauri in the bedroom. She waited for an explanation.

“You’ve never asked me about this scar, but I know you’ve wondered.” He touched the one that ran from his left shoulder to mid-thorax.

“I’m sure Thor has told you I tried to kill myself a few years ago. I was so hurt and angry that I let go of Odin’s spear and dropped off the Bifrost into the Void. Some time later, there I was on Earth, leading what was supposed to be a conquering army. I never told anyone what happened to me in the interim; not even Frigga.” 

He paused and took a breath.

“Thanos brought me back to life.”

She sat quietly and let him continue.

“My mind was already twisted into knots, and he made it worse with the mind stone. He broke me mentally and physically over and over again, and I know you’re one of the few people who understands what it's like to be broken apart and re-made. I couldn't heal myself. I couldn’t even think or speak. The last thing he did was put a sword through my chest while he kept me from dying to escape the pain.

I didn’t give a damn about ruling Earth; I just wanted to hurt Thor and Odin. But, by the time Thanos was done with me, I was ready to give him whatever he wanted, which was the Tesseract. And, I vowed I would never give up this scar—this reminder of what Thanos did to me.”

“I'm sorry, Loki. I don't know who Thanos is. Should I?”

“He's a Titan, and he's the most dangerous being in the universe. He wants the Infinity Stones, although I’m not certain why. The Tesseract is one of them.”

“Why didn’t you tell Thor or Odin what happened? Wouldn’t that have gone a long way toward Odin not sentencing you to life in prison?”

“Because I’d rather die than beg for mercy and be pitied for being utterly broken. And, once I figured out how to counteract the collar, it was just a matter of time. I had not counted on the Dark Elves or Frigga’s death or Thor asking me for help.

I failed to get Thanos the Tesseract and he wants me dead. That’s why I pretended to die on the Dark World. But, last night, six Chitauri got by Heimdall and into Asgard. I don’t know if Thanos knows I’m alive and disguised as Odin, or if he actually wants Odin dead. Maybe he thinks he can kill Odin quietly and just take the Tesseract, because a war with Asgard would cost him a lot of resources. Either way, they caught me by surprise. I killed three, but three escaped. They’ll try again; probably tonight.”

“And you’re asking for my help? With three Chitauri?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.

“I wanted to see you, and I don't know who to trust in Asgard now. They’re almost as good at disguise as I am. Plus, now I know I can just summon you and you’ll come. Double entendre intended.” He grinned at her.

She thought for a few moments before speaking. 

“Ok, so we kill them and get rid of the bodies. Then what? Thanos is still out there. You, more than anyone, have to know what Tony said is right. The Endgame is still out there. It sounds like the Endgame is this Thanos.”

“I once said I was burdened with glorious purpose. I still believe it's my birthright, even though at the time, I meant Thanos' purpose. Either I’ll rule Asgard in my own name or I’ll bring on Ragnarok, as Midgardian legend says. If the legend is true, Ragnarok means all the warriors in Valhalla will be unleashed to do battle. Either way, we’ll be ready to fight him.”

“It sounds like we may never really be ready,” Natasha said. “But, we sure as hell have to try.”

*****

Odin ordered in some dinner, and they ate in the antechamber, so their whereabouts would be easily known. A guard then showed Natasha to the guest quarters, where she stayed until she felt sure no one was coming to check on her. When all was quiet, she made her way back to Odin’s rooms. Loki concealed their presence while putting a clone in the bed as bait. They waited half the night, but, as predicted, the Chitauri made their attempt, such as it was.

It was anti-climactic, really. Three Chitauri were no match for the two of them. They threw all six bodies out the gigantic window and down into the river that flowed through Asgard and over the edge into the Void.

Natasha considered her question carefully before asking. 

“Again, why did you really send for me, knowing it would look suspicious that Odin would ask to see a mortal? It's no secret he thinks of us as lesser beings. You didn’t need my help to get rid of three Chitauri. Is there something you want to tell me?” 

She understood the multiple levels on which his mind worked and wasn't letting him off without the whole truth.

Loki sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, looking tired. He pressed his middle finger and thumb to his eyes. It was the first time he had shown her anything other than total confidence, and that was cause for concern.

“I wanted you to know the story about Thanos and why I did what I did. He knows the Tesseract is here in Odin’s vault. Once he decides to come for it, the differences between Asgardians and mortals won't even matter any more. He is more than capable of killing us all.” 

He paused, looking directly at her. 

“If I’m to die, I wanted to see you one more time first.”

She didn't know what to say, so she simply touched his cheek with her hand. He laid his head in her lap and they slept until dawn.

When she woke, Loki was standing at the window admiring the ethereal beauty of Asgard.

“I love this place, Natasha, in spite of everything. This view renews me every morning and reminds me what's important.”

She slipped away into the dressing room. She double-checked herself, making sure she was ready to do this. There were no men like him. He had said it the first night she ever saw him, and she knew it was true. If they were all going to die fighting this Thanos, she wanted it to be next to him. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the dressing room. When Loki turned away from the window, what he saw was the exact image he had put into Natasha’s mind more than once.

She was on her knees, wearing nothing but the collar and chains he had given her.

He studied her for a long moment, then stepped in front of her and cupped her chin with his hand.

“You know how long I’ve waited for this.”

“Yes.”

“You’re certain?”

“Yes.” She looked up at him.

“Who do you belong to?”

“You.”

“Say it.”

“I belong to you.”

She felt the power of those words and knew in her soul they were true. She could no longer imagine anyone but him.

He pulled her to her feet and kissed her. Her words had made him hard again, even more than he had thought possible. He wanted her right now, more than he’d ever wanted anyone.

But, there was a knock at the door and a voice. Damn.

“Sire,” said the voice.

Odin’s voice answered “What is it?”

The guard replied “The council is assembled for your meeting this morning.”

“Very well. Tell them I’ll be down shortly.”

Natasha stepped back into the dressing room and re-emerged fully clothed.

“I should go” she said.

“You probably should, before you distract me too much. If I have to play the fool so that Asgard’s enemies will show themselves, then so be it. I'll do what I have to do. But, now more than ever, I need your trust and your silence.”

“You know you have them. Just be careful. These are dangerous games you’re playing now.”

“They always have been.” He smiled. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m quite difficult to kill.”

“I have noticed. Keep it that way. For Asgard. For your brother. For me.”

As she stepped through the door, he flashed a new snapshot image into her head. It was him on the throne of Asgard and she was standing next to him. She turned to look back at him in astonishment. He was not smiling. He was dead serious.

He watched her leave and stood, quiet and unmoving, long after the sound of her boots on the marble floor had receded into silence.

*****

After Natasha returned to Earth, her head was swimming. Thanos. Whoever or whatever he was, Loki was genuinely scared of him, and he wasn't scared of much. Loki had spent his entire life believing he never needed anyone's help. He worked alone. That, along with his obsession with the throne, could very well be his undoing. She would prevent it if she could, even if it meant breaking her word to him. The last image he'd put in her mind kept coming back to her. The throne was nothing to her, but he was everything.

She needed to think and she needed to talk to Steve. Where was Thor, anyway? She tried for several days to contact him, but he was nowhere to be found.

She finally went to Steve and was ready to tell him everything. Well, nearly everything. He definitely needed to know about Thanos, if not the details of how she knew. But, almost as soon as she'd found Steve, there was a surprise waiting for both of them. Bruce. He was back.

It had been two years since she'd seen him, and she had no idea what to say. But, he was talking about Thanos. Almost babbling. He spared a momentary look of longing for her and continued.

“Asgard is gone. Ragnarok happened. Loki and Thor had an evil sister. There was a Fire Demon and I fought a giant wolf. Thanos is purple; what’s up with that? He took our ship apart like it was a toy. He was torturing Thor and Loki had the Tesseract, and then Heimdall sent me back to Earth. Thanos is coming. He wants to destroy half of all life in the Universe, and he'll do it if he gets all the Infinity Stones.”

Later that evening, after Bruce had sorted out as much as he could with Steve, he took Natasha aside and tried to explain something else. He still looked bewildered.

“Why do I have this message in my head for you from Loki, of all people? I don't understand. He said to tell you to dream. What was he talking about? Why you?”

“Is that all he said?” Her face was as neutral as she could make it.

“Yes,” Bruce said. “He didn't even actually say it. He just put it in my head.”

Yes, Natasha thought. That's what he does.

“Is he dead?”

“I'm pretty sure; yes. I think Thanos killed Thor and Loki and Scrapper 142 and everyone on that ship. She was my friend. The only reason I'm here alive is that Heimdall managed one last transport with his Bifrost sword-thing.”

Natasha's legs failed her and she had to sit down. Thanos had gone after the Tesseract. Loki was dead and Thor was dead. She was too late.

She had been trying hard to focus on the bigger picture, but actually hearing Bruce speak the words made that impossible right now. The god she had finally pledged herself to was already dead.

“Nat? Are you ok?”

Nat. Loki had never once called her that.

She stood and walked out, unable to answer him.

That night, she tried to dream. But, how do you make yourself dream? She knew something about lucid dreaming, but how did you get into the dream you wanted to control? She lay there for hours until exhaustion finally took her.

“Natasha. Don't wake up.”

And there it was. A voice in her dream. The voice she had first heard in her head three years and a lifetime ago. She focused her attention on making sure she did not wake, and she listened.

“I don't know how much time we have. Space and time are very different where I am right now. I'm going to die here, Natasha. I have to save Thor, and there's no other way. I wish there was.”

And then he was there with her. She felt his body on hers, his weight, his lips, his hands. She touched the scar on his back. Oh, God. Loki. How is this happening?

She whispered “I belong to you. I won't forget. I'll never forget.”

She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could. He cradled her face in his hands as he buried himself in her. His eyes burned red and his skin turned blue and he made no attempt to rein himself in. One last connection. It seemed so real and she could not hold back the tears. She pressed her face into his shoulder and he whispered one last thing.

“I have to go, Natasha. I made my own fate and you have to make yours. It's up to you and your Avengers to stop Thanos now. Ragnarok is real. I'll see you in the next life.”

And he was gone.

When she woke, she stumbled to the bathroom. She knew it was only a dream. He had found a way to reach her one more time, but it wasn't real. It couldn't have been. But, when she turned on the light, she saw them: A faint bruise on her neck where his teeth had been; and on the inside of her right breast, a small red mark carved just deep enough into her flesh that it would leave a scar in the shape of the letter L. One last mind game just for her.

She wiped away the tears and said out loud:

“Thanos, you purple son-of-a-bitch. We're coming for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written before Endgame. After recovering from that emotional trauma, I’ve been inspired to continue their story post-Endgame. Check back in about three weeks and i’ll update this note as to whether that’s going to come together or not. I hate it when people leave me hanging and I won’t do that to you.
> 
> July 9 2019 UPDATE: Part 2 can stand alone as smut, but turns out to have relevance to Part 3. Part 3 is coming along nicely and will up before the end of July 2019. Probably sooner. I’m excited for Loki and Natasha. They both deserved way better than they got in IW and Endgame.


End file.
